Chapter 13 A Devastating Bump In The Road July of 2013

A Devastating Bump In The Road

July of 2013

My name is Kathy which everyone already knows. I would like to talk about the holidays which have already come and gone.  November was Thanksgiving and we celebrated that at Richie’s house. December was Christmas and Christmas Eve was at my house.  Days leading up to these holidays and the anniversary of Normie’s death are always very hard. Everyone will not be there; Normie is missing all these holidays.  Richie is missing his brother and his nephews and nieces are missing there uncle. I know I cannot bring Normie back, but we need some closure on what happened that evening, which some friends are not willing to do.  Whoever reads this chapter PLEASE one of Normie’s friends, I hope someone will be able to find the truth and have this person come forward and tell us what happened.  NOT ALL THOSE STORIES THAT WERE TOLD.

 THE TRUTH   THAT IS ALL WE WANT.

On March 24th my whole life changed.  It will be 24 years and nothing has been done to get the truth about what happened the evening Normie was shot. Normie was murdered and what haunts me is other people involved don’t feel the loss as we do.  People say we should not live in the past and we need to move on.  If this would have been one of their kids would they have been able to leave this alone.  How do we move on when the person who shot Normie is living there life like nothing happened and they are getting away with murder?  You have to understand yes I know my life has gone on.  The loss of my son brings emptiness and anger we all feel within our family.  His so called friends that were with him have not told the truth about that evening. I know if he was shot the way they said stopped at a red light, the car would have went out of control into something.

You tell me would someone be able to drive 10 blocks with one hand   on  the wheel and one foot over a console and then flag a bus driver down  to stop and get help. I hope Normie’s friends will question the others who were involved.  I guess it probably doesn’t even cross anyone’s minds because it has been 24 years and this has been so long. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my son.

The person’s who were with Normie might have a family now and they don’t want to think about that evening Normie was shot and killed. When I do close my eyes at night and see the bullet that hit him I wonder if he felt the pain and called out for me. MOM!  I wonder if he was scared.  There are a lot of things that will go through your mind when something like this happens.  Losing a Child that way does something to you. People who have lost there children to murder will understand what I am talking about.  The reason why I’m talking about this now is because of what I recently went through with my younger son.

I recently sold my house and moved into my son Richie’s house until I found a house of my own out near them. I wanted to be close to my grandchildren so I didn’t miss any of them growing up.  In 1990 my oldest son was murdered and in 1999 my husband passed away from cancer. What more can one endures.  As I know life goes by very fast and you don’t know how much time anyone individual has.  I found a house near them and I couldn’t move into the house until August 29th. I resided with Richie until that date.  Thank God I did because Richie became very ill from what started out as a sore throat and turned into an abscess. He was operated on his neck to drain the abscess.  Things appeared at first to go well.  I was bringing Richie to his doctor’s office to get his stitches removed. In route Richie was in so much pain I thought he was having a heart attack.  He had liquid coming out of his eyes and nose so I took him to the emergency center.  I called his wife to tell her what happened so she could leave work and get to the hospital.  I don’t know how she made it to the hospital because Heather was shaking and she was as scared as I was.  The doctors said they were going to airlift Richie to another hospital because they were not equipped to treat him there.

They flew him to Peoria which has a trauma center.  Heather couldn’t go on the helicopter so she went home to pack so her brother could drive her to Peoria. It was a two hour trip and it was very hard on everyone.  This was very serious for Richie.  We didn’t know what was going on until he was at the trauma center.  All we knew is that this was serious and he could die.

On my way back to Richie’s house I stopped in a parking lot along the way and broke down.  I kept saying I cannot lose another son.  I kept repeating that to myself as I sat crying, hyperventilating and shaking.  I called my brother to tell him what happened and we talked.  I needed to get myself together to drive. I did not want my grandkids to see how upset I was and I needed to be strong for them.  Heather stayed with Richie in Peoria.  I watched the kids with Heather’s mom and we kept them busy so they didn’t get upset.  I did not want them to know how critical there father was.

In the hospital in Peoria the doctors examined Richie and told Heather they needed to open him up because an infection had invaded his whole body.  They needed her permission to do so and she collapsed in her brothers arms shaking saying “this cannot be happening”. The doctors operated on him and found he was septic throughout his whole body.  Doctor’s had to repair holes in his stomach and something in his throat. They put drains in his lungs because they were filled with fluid. It was a long night until we heard he was out of surgery and in the recovery room.  The first two weeks were touch and go.  He had a few more operations within the first three weeks.

Finally Richie was getting better and we all went to see him.  It was very hard on the children at first seeing all those tubes in there dad.  It brought back a flood of memories for me of when Normie was shot and in the hospital with all those tubes.  I felt a little light headed so I sat down until it passed. Finally the fourth week some of the tubes were taken out and they started preparing Richie to come home.  There was a set back though when he still was found to have some infection in his body.  He was not able to leave until all there was no infection left. The fifth week a few more tubes were able to be taken out.  Richie wanted to just come home but the doctors said not yet. The sixth week came and they were planning on releasing him and yet another set back. He could go home but he would have to have a home health care nurse come in for a few weeks.  He still was going to have IV’s and Heather had to take care of him when the nurse wasn’t there.  The hospital had set everything up so he could go home. Finally after seven grueling weeks he was coming home. He didn’t tell his children he was coming home because he wanted to surprise them.  He had lost 55 pounds over the last seven weeks of his ordeal.

The week before he came home my heart broke when his little girl said to me “I don’t think my daddy is ever coming home.  That was a shock coming from her little mouth and it was so hard to hear from a little girl that loves her daddy so much.  I had to go on the porch and compose myself before I talked with her about her dad.  I told Hera your daddy will come home you just need to give him time until he gets better.  Finally when Richie came home Hera was playing in the front room. Richie pulled up in the driveway and all I could hear is Hera say my daddy is home.  She was so happy to see him.  We went back and forth to the hospital in Peoria for about a month with seeing all of his doctors for follow-ups.  They had to make sure the infection that invaded his body was not coming back.

I found a house not far from Richie and I was ready to move on August 29th.  Richie contacted all of his friends and they came to his house and put all of my boxes in there cars and trucks as I was signing my papers. When I went to Richie’s house they were all ready to go over to my new house.  I had almost 100 boxes and it only took an hour to move. The next day my furniture came and Heather and friends put everything in place. The kids spent the first night in my new house with me.  They were so happy to have me so close.

Rich had to have some rehab 3 days a week to get his body mass back so he can return to work.  He still has a few problems with his stomach and throat.  Now I found out he needed yet another operation.  I thought to myself when will everything be ok.

On January 15th Rich had his operation on his stomach.  They removed a lot of scar tissue.  They placed double mesh in his stomach to keep everything together.  I hope this will be the last of them.  He came home on the 18th of January.  I thank God he is getting better. So there is a lot to be thankful for because life is to short.

Please give us some peace.