Chapter 12: Continuing to fight for answers on Normie’s murder

One day in 2006 I started to clean out my husband and son’s things that I had put off for a long time.  I thought I was ready to do this, but I was very wrong. I was on vacation from work so I found myself lost in a lot of paper work.  So many memories of my son came flashing back of being a baby to the day I got the news he had been shot.  I was surrounded in sorrow all over again.  I had come across the letters that were written to me from my son’s friend that I had put them away so many years before without having to read them thoroughly.  I decided to sit down and read them. This letter contained a part where this friend was with other friends at a bowling alley.

All Norman’s friends needs to think long and hard about what you are about to read. Below is an excerpt of the letter which names were removed to protect all parties involved:

One week after Norman’s death, ****,**** and someone else (I honestly can’t remember a name or face – I was in a bad state) stopped by that Friday to take me out for a little bit. It was the night before my ACT.  I agreed to go out for an hour hoping it would help me feel better. **** was higher then a kite. He kept crying in the back seat of the car next to me. He kept spurting out things like (“why do they keep calling me?” “Are they tapping my phone?” “Why does everyone keep asking me?” We went up to Midway bowl and sat down in the bar. (Everybody in those days had fake I.D.’s) I don’t know how long I was there. I was teary eyed the entire time. **** tried to get me to calm down and went up to get me a drink.  **** was sitting at the table next to me and started to cry again. However, what I heard came out loud and clear “I didn’t do it” “**** did it”   I asked **** what did **** do and he wouldn’t answer me. It clicked a second later. I knew what **** did it meant. I ran outside hysterical with **** chasing after me.  I was “It was an accident, ****”  “That’s all I can tell you.” The next day I had a breakdown during my ACT and could not finish the test.

I could not believe what I was reading, all these years I believed my son’s death was an accident and his friends were just scared to admit this. Detectives told me a different story and that is why we need the truth.  I thought long and hard about what I was going to do about the content of this letter.  My immediate reaction was to publicize this to the world.  I knew it would raise questions and make the shooter think of what he has done to a family I really don’t know if he has a conscious. I knew I could not let this go and pretend I didn’t just read this letter. I needed to share this with all his friends so they are aware of what I know.

I need to share a time in my life when there was a wake for my cousin’s wife mother. Walking in the same place where my son Norman was waked, I thought I could handle (Modell Funeral Home). All of a sudden everything came rushing back seeing the coffin with her mother in there, it wasn’t her, and it was my son all over again. I started hyperventilate and I knew I needed to get out of there. The tears came rushing down my face and I realize how much I missed and what I have lost these 22 years of not see or having him here with us.  I sat in my car crying so hard I couldn’t even drive I waited to collect my thoughts. When I arrived home I went to the cabinet pulled out a bottle of Amaretto and down two shots. I don’t drink but I needed something to calm my down.

Putting this out there will not change or bring Normie back. I do have a full life with my son Rich and his family. My life has not stood still and I will never forget my son Normie. I’m a mother and a grandmother who will do anything for my children and grand children. If you are a mother or father you know what I mean. The truth needs to come out and set these people free of what they know. Hiding all of this will only break you down to nothing and your soul will never be the same if you have one.

A person once said to me you have another child and you need to focus on him. I don’t think any one knows how I feel until they walk in my shoes. When a child is murdered your life changes in a way know one will understand until it happened to your family. You lose a part of you in a way I can’t explain.  You don’t love your children any less or more you love them unconditionally know matter what they have done. You love them equally yes my other child needed me that doesn’t mean I would let thing pass because Normie died in a way that no person should die (shot in the head). Yes we still go on with our lives.

Richie and I deserved the truth about his brother and my son. The people involved need to set themselves free of this information. With this new information, it raised many more questions and we needed to know the answers to what happened to my son that tragic evening.

Here are some questions you need to think about:

• What does that person mean, what  are they hiding?
• Why doesn’t he want any one to know what he did?
• How can you hide this and go on with your life like nothing ever happened?
• What kind of person are you, what have you become?
• What kind of friend does this to another friend?
• Are you raising your children to be this way if you have any?
• Why hide the truth and be a coward?
• How are you dealing with this?

We will never stop seeking the answers. We need to hear the truth from you, you know who you are. Please come forward and confirm what happened that evening,

This is what we all need to know ACCIDENT OR NOT.  Everyone grieves in different ways.

How technology has changed through the years.  The best way to reach out to others is through the internet.  Facebook opened up new avenues to extend my story to the world beyond my book. This is how my son’s webpage was born.  (www.normantoppel.com)

One day everyone will know the truth about Normie’s murder.  Accident or not when you has a son or daughter that has been murdered there is a piece of you that dies it is what it is and he will not be brought back.  We will never stop our efforts to have this person come forward.  Thank everyone for investing your time to hear our story.

Please feel free to share your thought.